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Monday, June 21, 2004

Yay, the courthouse is fun...

Such a lovely way to spend the day. /sigh
Well... I got the restraining order. Okay, technically it is a Temporary Injunction Against Domestic Violence. The police served it to Brian after he got home from work tonight, totally blindsided him, he had to pack and get out in an hour. So... the girls are in bed, the house is quiet, and I'm just sobbing.
I know that I did what I had to. I keep telling myself that I did the right thing, but I'm not convinced yet. My counselor told me that, even my brother told me that, I have to keep telling myself til I believe it. I feel like total shit. I feel ... guilty.. frustrated... sad... like I failed somehow.

To anyone else who has gone through this, and had the strength to leave and not go back... you have my utmost respect. To those of you who watch the movies about domestic violence and wonder how the women could be so stupid (yep, that used to be me...)... you just have NO clue... no matter how much you tell yourself "I wouldn't let that happen to me"... you have no idea.

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