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Monday, May 31, 2004

XBox has its redeeming qualities...

B bought the "Home Music Mixer", which does all kinds of weird things with putting graphics with music, BUT.... it also does karaoke! In FACT, not only does it come with about a dozen songs that you can use, complete with lyrics on the screen, you can put in a cd of your own, and it will strip the lead vocals for ya, so you can use anything you've got as karaoke! It'll also record you with the background music. (So look out, you're likely to be bombarded with recordings of moi! =P)

Anyway, I'm still ticked that he went out and bought the darn thing with money that was for something else, without consulting anyone but himself, but I suppose that's life with a control freak.

We're still at the inlaws' right now, but we're heading back after lunch, since I have rehearsal tonight. I'm hoping I can get an appointment with my therapist either tomorrow or Wednesday and get him to look at the letter. /sigh.

Anyway... we're about to take the munchkins in the pool, so I'm outta here!

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Ahhh, the inlaws.........

Well, on the one hand, it's kinda nice to have some extra adults to help with rambunctious little kidlets. On the other hand, I love my mother-in-law dearly, but she is nuts. Papa, however, keeps a well stocked bar, so all is not lost =P

Right now, the husband is off at the store with his mother, and they took the oldest kidlet with them... the tiny one is sleeping, and Emily is quite happily playing with Papa and his trains. (You should SEE his setup... I'll try to post a picture of it later, it's amazing!) So yay, I get a few minutes to BREATHE on my own!

My new meds say that "excessive caffeine may increase your risk of seizure", so I've been laying off the Diet Coke... which is giving me a headache... which I suppose is better than a seizure, but it's still no fun. They also have a warning about drowsiness, and that alcohol may intensify the effect, but so far they don't seem to be making me drowsy, so I do believe I shall risk some cocktails later. In fact, the doctor told me when she prescribed them that they would likely make me restless and keep me from sleeping, so she told me to take them in the daytime. I haven't noticed much effect either way yet. /shrug

I think bloggin is almost as therapeutic as singing is....just as addictive, too =P
Monday night we start rehearsing the dancing, though, and I am SO not looking forward to that part. Can't I just hide in the wings and sing? It's not like I have a speaking part or a named role or anything... I'm just the only one in the chorus that can hit the high notes... /giggle. (Ego much? Nah... even my email address has "diva" in it. /smirk)

I don't know whether B is getting more controlling as the days go by, or if I'm just noticing it more, but either way it's strengthening my resolve about what needs to happen, so I guess that's a good thing, in a way.

Well... they're due home any minute, so I'll be signing off for now ::)

Friday, May 28, 2004


The kids are all driving me INSANE today. Hannah is nothing but attitude, through and through, and she is driving me crazy. Emily's just being... Emily. She's adorable, but she's so LOUD. AND my mother is over, to "help", which... she's a big help, but she also is exceddingly disappointed in me that I never "get anything done" on my own. Yeah, she says she knows I have my hands full, she had three kids of her own... well, sorry, but the way she had hers spaced out, she has NO Idea what I go through on a daily basis. Her closest two were 5 years apart, and THEY were 19 and 14 when I came along. That's got nothin on having a 5 yr old with a 21 month old and a 9 month old. (They're exactly 1 year and 1 week apart... twins the hard way... heh.)

AND I'm supposed to be packing, because we're all heading to B's parents' house for the weekend, oh joy.... don't get me wrong, their house is awesome and I love them dearly, but this is more stress than I need.

I'll probably complain more later. /sigh

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Yay, finally!

Got my new prescription last night, today is my first day taking it... it's supposed to take a couple of weeks to notice an improvement, but I'm sooooo impatient... I hope there's an extra dose of confidence in 'em.

I got my writing done yesterday, just have to show it to my therapist and see what he thinks of it before I pass it along to it's intended recipient.... and then hopefully all hell won't break loose.

I just keep looking at my sweet little babies (yeah, at over-protective moments like this, even the 5 yr old is a baby) and I know that I'll do what I have to to protect them... some days that's all that keeps me going. They're so small and defenseless... I'm the Momma, I have to do what I have to do. Fortunately I have less violent means at my disposal than the famous Mother Bear. (Doubly fortunate since it's violence we're trying to get away from.)

So... new meds, writing done, it's a good day... except that the littlest one just had a diaper blow-out that may require a complete hosing down... lol. So, gotta go!

Wednesday, May 26, 2004


I'm still struggling with "homework" from my therapist and attorney. I have to write out something that's very difficult for me. I'm still unsure of whether I'll go into more detail about this here or not. I know it's what I have to do, I just wish I could fast forward past it. I want it over with, but I don't know where to start. I wish I could just run away and hide, and not have to deal with it, but life doesn't work that way. Have you ever been scared of where you are, but even more scared to move?